GamesRead : Konami snags on-the-rise screenwriter for Metal Gear Solid film

Solid Snake is one quiet step closer to sneaking onto the big screen. Deadline announced that screenwriter Jay Basu has officially signed on to pen the Metal Gear Solid script based on the Konami video game franchise.

Though his name might not ring any bells right now, Basu’s star is on the rise. He penned the follow-up to Gareth Edwards’ Monsters, called Monsters: Dark Continent. He’s also been tapped by Universal to help rejuvenate the Universal Monsters in a Marvel Studios-style shared film series. His involvement in Metal Gear Solid marks the writer’s first video game involvement as well as his first official entry into the worldwide espionage game.

Jordan Vogt-Roberts is attached to direct the picture. Another name that might not be well known at the moment, Vogt-Roberts debuted Kings of Summer in 2013 and now he’s working on Kong: Skull Island, a look at the King Kong mythology that goes deeper back into the timeline and splits off in different directions from there.

Metal Gear Solid is a longstanding franchise that goes back several console generations. The series (mostly) focuses on Solid Snake, a super secret agent who can sneak into just about anywhere and take out just about anyone. Snake has become so popular that he’s even joined the ranks of fighters in the Super Smash Bros. series for Nintendo. In the States, the character is (again, mostly) voiced by David Hayter who has also written screenplays for films like Watchmen and X-Men.

Talk of a Metal Gear Solid film goes back to the mid 2000s, but it’s taken a while for Konami, Sony, and all the other players to nail down a script they want to turn into the film. In the meantime, the franchise has only continued to grow with the latest installment, Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes, releasing last March, which is something of a prequel to the true MGSV, The Phantom Pain, which is set to release later this year.

GamesRead : PlayStation Vita game box for MLB 15: The Show is empty

We just got some copies of MLB 15: The Show in for review, and one of them is a little strange. The PS3 version is a standard PS3 game box with a disc inside. The PS4 version is a standard PS4 game box with a disc inside. The PS Vita version is a standard PS Vita game box with a download code inside. And nothing else. Wow, is it stupid.

I understand why game publishers sell retail download codes of games. Some gamers want to play a new release, but don’t have a credit card and can’t buy directly through the PSN Store. You go to a GameStop with cash (or a dishearteningly tall pile of games) and you can get the download code to get it over the PSN Store without a credit card. The difference is that these download codes usually come on a paper card or on the receipt.

This is a physical game box. With a space for a game card. It’s a chunk of plastic Sony manufactured, printed labels for, and shipped to retail stores as if there were a physical product inside. There is no reason for it to be a box and not a smaller, cheaper, disposable card. Game codes are disposable anyway; once you register them, they’re completely worthless.

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This makes absolutely no sense. The physical box adds no value for the gamer (unless they really need a spare box for one of their Vita cards?). It just adds overhead to Sony when compared to a paper card with a game code on it. I can’t think of any reason for the game to come like this. It’s ridiculous.

GamesRead : Sony takes gaming to a deeper level with PlayStation Flow

No, not the amoeba-riddled PlayStation 3 game flOw, but instead a new, immersive way to experience gaming. The PlayStation Wearable Entertainment Technology Group, or PWET, looked out into the vast, growing sea that is the wearable tech market, and decided to toss their own buoy into the ocean. As any self-respecting gamer should know, an underwater environment is oftentimes the archenemy of frustration-free gameplay. To fix that, Sony’s PWET division is taking gaming from the living room to the swimming pool.

The PlayStation Flow gear amounts to a wearable tech version of swimming goggles and water wings. The goggles not only have a soothing, glowing PlayStation symbol on the side to signify that the unit is powered on, but also has waterproof in-ear headphones so you can drown out the sounds of the external world. The Flow goggles act as an underwater version of Project Morpheus — the name of which, when spoken aloud, fills the video’s presenter with noticeable joy — and the bicep and thigh water wings act as motion controls that translate your real-life movements to in-game input.

When you arrive at a dreaded underwater area in a game, Sony instructs that you pause, pack up your Flow goggles and water wings, head to the nearest pool, and dive in. You’ll then be able to unpause the action, and your flawless breaststroke will become your character’s own. After you’re finished with the submerged digital environment, you’ll want to head right back to the couch and continue playing. Sony knows you don’t want to go through the whole process of showering and drying off, so they’ve also benevolently created the PlayStation Flow Body Dryer — resembling a bathroom scale — which speed-dries your body once you step onto the platform.

PS Flow Body Dryer

If you really don’t want to schlep to a pool or just hate being wet, Sony assures that you can enjoy PS Flow in the comfort of your very own home — just lie across a couch, in a bathtub, pantomime around your kitchen, or head on over to the nearest Chuck E. Cheese’s and plant a flag in the ball pit.

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Or, look at the date, have a laugh, and get back to preparing for raid night with your buddies.

GamesRead : Nintendo announces free 200cc speed class update for Mario Kart 8

Mario Kart is one of Nintendo’s must-have games on every piece of hardware it releases, and the Wii U version is no exception. Mario Kart 8 followed the typical format of a Mario Kart game: offer three speed classes in the form of 50cc, 100cc, and 150cc, with each subsequently more difficult (and faster) than the class below it. However, Nintendo surprised everyone yesterday with the announcement of a 200cc class.

Mario Kart 8 had two DLC packs planned at release, both offering new characters, vehicles, and tracks to enjoy. Pack 1 was Zelda themed and is already available. Pack 2 is Animal Crossing themed and will be released on April 23. But on the same day a free update will introduce the new 200cc speed class.

I don’t remember 200cc being available before in a Mario Kart title, and it is a very clever move by Nintendo. Gamers who have already beaten Mario Kart 8 in all classes will have a reason to put the game disc back in their Wii U, but more importantly for Nintendo, they are much more likely to spend cash on the new DLC pack for $7.99, or purchasing both if they didn’t bother with Pack 1 yet.

Watching the video above, 200cc looks insanely fast. Nintendo has said the game at that speed puts a new emphasis on learning to brake at the right time to maximize your speed around the tracks. I really appreciate the fact this is a free update, and certainly intend on giving it a go. I also have to admit those 16 extra tracks, 6 new characters, and 8 new vehicles contained in the DLC packs now looks more tempting.

GamesRead : Halo Online leaks, work underway to make it playable outside of Russia

At the end of March, Microsoft announced that it was bringing Halo back to the PC. However, before PC gamers around the world could get too excited, Microsoft added “but only in Russia.” The game in question is Halo Online, which uses a heavily modified Halo 3 engine and will be free-to-play.

Release of Halo Online in territories outside of Russia is something Microsoft just isn’t considering right now, so that’s the end of that, right? Wrong. Halo Online may end up being playable everywhere, but it will be without the blessing of Microsoft.

The reason for that is a build of Halo Online has leaked, and modders have already set to work dissecting the game and attempting to open it up. Apparently gameplay is a combination of Halo 3 and Halo Reach, but setup to support the free-to-play model.

Here’s a video of the leaked Alpha build of the game being played offline:

A team has formed around the leaked build and GitHub was being used to work on a modified version with additional features unlocked as and when they were discovered. The main effort, however, was getting the game to be playable by anyone, anywhere, and therefore removing the Russia-only restriction.

Microsoft has reacted to the leak and unauthorized development by having the GitHub project removed. Microsoft argued that the project is using copyrighted works that they own and a DMCA notice was ultimately used to take it offline. While this may make development more difficult, it surely won’t stop it completely. I fully expect an unofficial version of Halo Online to appear in the future, and Microsoft will have to put some of its resources towards taking down the servers that pop up to support it.

Whether you agree with the leaked build being worked on or not, if it ends up being very popular then it should push Microsoft to expand availability of the game officially beyond Russia.

GamesRead : 7 blatant Jesus analogs in video games

It’s time for Easter, and Easter means Jesus. I mean, not for we Jews, but for, like, a lot of other people. Even if you don’t position this coming weekend as a celebration for the time a messiah came to earth, died, and came back, you can still look at the story as an interesting example of Western theology. Japanese game developers certainly do.

There aren’t many video games where you play as Jesus. There are, however, a ton of video games where you play as someone who is basically Jesus, in another world and written from a very Eastern perspective. Most of these are Japanese RPGs, and most of them are weird, and often amazing. There’s something fascinating about seeing common Western religious and mythological concepts through a Japanese lens. These are instances where Japanese game developers looked at the Bible and decided some of the stuff in there would be radical for a video game.

The religiously sensitive should probably steer clear of this list, and from most JRPGs. These Jesus analogs range from slightly awkward to magically sacrilicious. I mean, seriously; you know how some religious groups claimed Pokémon was teaching children how to summon demons? The Shin Megami Tensei series is literally that.

Also, there are tons of spoilers for these games, so maybe pray to real Jesus for some spoiler-blocking glasses so you can read on.

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Yuna and all Summoners (Final Fantasy X)

Yuna’s mission in Final Fantasy X is to save the world from Sin. Sin is a giant whale-shaped kaiju that destroys humanity on a regular basis. So it’s a bit more on-the-nose than the broad concept of human sin. Regardless, she and her guardians (disciples, if you will) must make a pilgrimage to get the holy power needed to beat Sin. In doing so, she’ll sacrifice her life. Except she decides it’s a stupid idea, and instead fights a combination of Mary Magdalene and Medusa before flying into Sin to destroy the first pope, who was piloting it all along.

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Fei Fong Wong/Abel/Lacan/Kim/Grahf (Xenogears)

This is going to get a little weird. Fei is the reincarnated version of Lacan, who’s the reincarnated Kim, who’s the reincarnated Abel. He also has dissociative personality disorder, and his id sometimes comes out like an Incredible Hulk-turned-Super-Saiyan that pilots a giant angry robot. Grahf was also Lacan, but he split off when Lacan touched the container of the power and knowledge of the universe. He’s mostly a bad guy through the game, but he sacrifices himself to save humanity from the machine god that created it. There is a ton of deicide in JRPGs.

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Ark (Terranigma)

Developer Quintet loved putting you in the shoes of God, or a messenger of God, or anyone who has to bring life back to a world God abandoned. Terranigma has you play as Ark, a messiah-but-actually-antichrist who started as a villager in a tiny, mysterious village, then opened Pandora’s box and was instructed by a messenger of God to restore the destroyed world above. So, he does it, but then it turns out the messenger of God was actually the messenger of anti-God, and Ark was part of its plan all along. He sacrifices himself to prevent the world from being destroyed. If you’ve lost track, that makes him a double-secret-counter-bizarro-anti-messiah.

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Protagonist (Persona 3)

High school student who summons demon projections by committing ritual and metaphorical suicide with a fake gun. Not a great or wholesome start. It’s all good, though, because he (or optionally she, in Persona 3 Portable) saves mankind by summoning God to fight the spirit of death. Then he dies to seal death away, because just summoning God to save mankind isn’t quite enough to get on this Jesus analog list.

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chaos (Xenosaga)

chaos (intentionally not capitalized) is the second-most absurdly specific Jesus analog on this list. He’s literally Yeshua, from the “Lost Jerusalem” of the game’s past, where he worked with Mary Magdalene. He’s also the universe’s failsafe system, who rejected the constant cycle of universal rebirth and helped save humanity from the negative emotions of the collective unconscious, which are antimatter imaginary numbers threatening the balance of existence. Also, Yeshua is an old spelling and pronunciation for “Jesus.” So, he’s a literal Jesus and a counter-Jesus all at once.

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Aleph/Hawk (Shin Megami Tensei 2)

The protagonist of Shin Megami Tensei 2 is the most absurdly specific Jesus analog on this list. Yes, even more than chaos. chaos was sort-of-literally Jesus in the Xenosaga game universe, but Aleph/Hawk goes a step further. He’s the genetically engineered messiah created by the Millennium Kingdom to fulfill John’s prophecy from the Book of Revelations. He’s Post-Apocalyptic Science Jesus. Also, he fights God, who is actually called “YHVH” in the game.

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Milla Maxwell (Tales of Xilia)

Milla is the “Lord of Spirits” made flesh to save the souls of the world. She’s also kind of the daughter-replacement of the Lord of Spirits, who gives up her physical form to look after things. This means Xilia has both one of the happiest endings for a sort-of-Jesus and one of the least omnicidal Gods in a JRPG.

So, if you decide to celebrate Good Friday or Passover by shutting yourself in your room and diving deep into some classic, convoluted JRPGs, tell your friends and family that you’re simply conducting literary research so you can better understand — and thus observe — the holiday.

GamesRead : OnLive is dead, and Sony acquired all their patents

Before there was a PS4 and PlayStation Now had launched, two major game streaming services existed. They were Gaikai and OnLive. We fully expected both services to go head-to-head for years to come, but then Sony announced it had acquired Gaikai for $380 million, leaving OnLive with the market pretty much to itself. Now a complete flip has happened.

Sony rebadged Gaikai as PlayStation Now and is currently in the midst of a slow global rollout of the service. OnLive has staggered on in the background, shutting down once, getting a new lease of life, and now it has shut once more. The twist this time being that Sony has acquired a large patent portfolio from OnLive relating the their game streaming tech.

What this means is, not only will we not be seeing OnLive launch again, but Sony pretty much has the game streaming market tied up. Not only in terms of having a live service your can use, but also by owning the majority of the patents relating to game streaming the two biggest players in the market had.

For users of OnLive, the news is not good. The servers will go dark on April 30, meaning you will lose access to any full game purchases you made and subscriptions will end. If your subscription payment happened on March 28 or later, you’ll be receiving a refund.

PlayStation Now

When Sony acquired Gaikai it would not have been surprising to see Microsoft counter with an OnLive acquisition. But that never happened because Microsoft doesn’t think it’s the future, and now it never can because Sony owns OnLive’s tech, too. This potentially makes it quite difficult for Microsoft to launch a PlayStation Now competitor in the future as Sony could tie them up in patent lawsuits from day one. I doubt Microsoft would ever agree to pay a royalty to Sony allowing it to run such a service.

The only service that really rivals PlayStation Now at the moment is Nvidia Grid, but that’s not really a direct competitor. Microsoft and Nintendo are, but neither of them have a game streaming solution or the patent portfolio to protect it.

GamesRead : How Bungie devilishly trapped its players in Destiny

One of the biggest criticisms of Bungie’s wildly successful sci-fi MMO Destiny is that there isn’t much to do once you beat the story and get some raid loot. On forums and in other community venues, both hardcore and casual players will attest to that sentiment, yet somehow, both fan bases still chug along, min-maxing their stats, grinding out faction reputation for a chance at extremely rare cosmetic items, or chasing that one elusive gun. Normally, that would sound like we players are making our own decisions about grinding extra hard for minimal returns, but really, we’ve fallen prey to Bungie’s grand designs.

Once you hit the soft level cap — something a robot has managed — you can play through four weekly events (currently two raids and two strikes) per character until the reset seven days later allows you to get loot from those events once again. In an effort to gain extra chances on dropping specific desired loot, players created extra characters (a maximum of three slots), which not only extends their playtime, but grants them access to the game’s most enjoyable content extra times per reset. At GDC this year, head of User Research at Bungie, John Hopson, revealed the tricks and strategies Bungie employed to keep us coming back for more — even if certain players are able to uncover what’s coming down the pipeline.

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Bungie tested Destiny a lot.

Three years before Destiny released, Bungie had test groups regularly playing game builds and documenting almost every response elicited during gameplay. The developer split players up into five categories: short and long campaigners, short and long omnivores, and specialists. Campaigners would play the campaign, omnivores would partake in activities from every category — PvE, PvP, and anything else — and specialists would focus on one specific activity. Wanting players to get the most out of its game, Bungie focused on the omnivores.

Bungie employed eye-tracking technology to document where players looked, they recorded what players said — explicit or otherwise — and gave players a button to press when they felt something in the game worked. So, while Bungie employs dastardly tricks like time-gating the game’s most fun content or requiring a slog of a faction reputation grind, the developer’s real trick is it psychoanalyzed — and recorded — players to find out what works best.

It seems to have worked, too, because the average player has logged 77 hours playing the game — three hours per average play session — with 17 million registered players totaling over 1.1 billion hours played. That amounts to over 200 billion dead aliens.

GamesRead : World of Warcraft gets $20 WoW Tokens for gold and game time today

Blizzard has been promising to deliver a new way to get in-game gold and game time for World of Warcraft since March. Today that new system is going live, and it’s called WoW Tokens.

WoW Tokens are available to purchase from 10am PDT today in North America, Latin America, Australia, and New Zealand. They cost $20 each from the in-game shop, or alternatively you can purchase them in the auction house in exchange for 30,000 gold. That gold price is set to vary in the future depending on supply and demand.

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So what can you do with a WoW Token and why would you want one? There are two main reasons to want a WoW Token. Purchasing one for $20 allows you to head on over to the auction house and exchange it for 30,000 gold or for 30 days of game time. Alternatively, if you have plenty gold already you can use 30,000 of it to buy a WoW Token and then convert it to 30-days of game time. So, depending on your gold reserves, WoW Token purchases can in fact replace the need to pay for a World of Warcraft subscription, you can also use them to reactivate an existing dormant account.

Initially Blizzard has decided to limit WoW Token purchases to 10 per 30 days. It seems unlikely someone would want to spend more than $200 or 300,000 gold a month purchasing them, but stranger things have happened.

Blizzard believes WoW Tokens are a great solution for allowing players to securely swap game time and gold, and in the process they make a healthy profit. Depending on how bug free the system turns out to be, expect other regions of the world to get WoW Tokens rolled out pretty quickly.

GamesRead : Nintendo needs to wake up and realize it’s a video game company

If you’re enthusiastic about video games, you have an opinion about Nintendo. You probably grew up with Nintendo. Your parents probably still use the word “Nintendo” to describe any video game system. The company shaped video games as we know them, but they still don’t seem to realize they’re a company that makes video games in 2015. Nintendo is our wacky scientist uncle who refuses to use email, but somehow built a freaking time machine in his back yard — a font of misdirected and strangely applied genius coupled with teeth-grindingly infuriating personality aspects that are charitably called “quirks,” because everyone who knows him likes him too much to simply call him out when he’s acting like a jerk.

Uncle Ninty, your inventions are strange and cool, but if you don’t catch up with the rest of us on some of the most basic things, we’re going to stop visiting you — and we’re not going to put up with your harassing the neighbors anymore.

The biggest problem Nintendo has is understanding that the internet exists, and there are many useful things on it that could help it out. Yes, the Wii U and 3DS have online functions and online stores and you can connect them to the internet and all that, but Nintendo feels like it’s a decade behind Sony, Microsoft, and Valve regarding anything that involves purchasing, downloading, tracking, or playing games online. It’s been like this for over a generation; even now, the 3DS and Wii U’s eShops still feel like they’re being offered begrudgingly by Nintendo, like an eccentric shopper dealing with a clerk who doesn’t want to deal with his jars full of pennies and demands he use bills or cards like everyone else in the store.

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You want to transfer your games from your 3DS to your New 3DS XL? Hope you have time on your hands, because the way Nintendo handles this is by literally copying your entire system and pasting that system onto the new hardware, bit by bit. Cloud saving? Simple account-tracking and rights transfers? Reliable ways to keep the progress you’ve made after hundreds of hundreds of hours in your games, from system to system? Uncle Ninty the Mad Scientist has no need for these things, but he built a kick-ass wacky breakfast machine! Eccentric geniuses always have breakfast machines, even if they can’t find their keys.

Nintendo’s most recent bout of frustratingly out-of-touch online ignorance comes in the form of its ever-evolving but still archaic perception of fan content. The company has been hard on fans who want to record themselves playing, reviewing, and commenting on Nintendo games. Most recently, “Angry Joe” Vargas received a content recognition warning (a message saying that you cannot monetize this video you made, even though it’s like every other video you’ve made for years and have built a name and business on) on YouTube and said he’s reviewed his last Nintendo game.

This isn’t the first time Nintendo has gone after YouTube reviewers and Let’s Players. The company has only begrudgingly started to offer a form of profit-sharing model in strict and archaic terms with these content creators; before a massive outcry, it was publicly against all YouTube reviews and Let’s Plays that use footage from their games and monetize it. Even now, the Nintendo Creators Program is, at best, wildly condescending to the hardcore fans who have been at the YouTube game longer than Nintendo itself, and whose enthusiasm helped keep the company prominent through some weak years.

Nintendo has the dubious legal right to go after people who monetize footage of their video games, but it’s incredibly, mind-bogglingly stupid to do so. Huge Nintendo fans are the people who make these videos, huge Nintendo fans are the people who watch these videos, and the huge Nintendo fans in the second group quickly become fans of the huge Nintendo fans in the first group. Saying fans can’t make these videos destroys any hint of good will or appreciation those huge fans might have.

Uncle Ninty, the delivery man might seem scary, but if you keep building booby traps to stop him, he’s going to stop delivering food to you, and you will starve.

The games are made by Nintendo, but the videos are made by fans. Specifically, they’re made by enterprising fans who have contributed to the gaming community. People watch Let’s Plays and video reviews because of the entertaining and informative aspects the personalities who create them add to the experience. Angry Joe isn’t a man who makes money by showing what video games look like. He makes money by providing an entertaining an informative take on video games.

Fans who put video game footage on YouTube aren’t pirates. They aren’t stealing money from Nintendo. They’re critics and entertainers. If they were putting up footage of games on their own without any personality or structure behind them, then it might be an issue. Of course, if they do that, they don’t get views or make money anyway. Nintendo fans don’t watch Angry Joe videos because he’s reviewing Nintendo games. They watch Angry Joe videos because of how he reviews Nintendo games.

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If you like a Let’s Player or video reviewer, you like them for what they add. Whether it’s the goofy humor and occasionally breathtaking gameplay incompetence of Game Grumps (Arin “Egoraptor” Hanson can beat Ninja Gaiden on the NES, but he can’t play Mario 64 to save his life) or the insightful sub-sub-sub-genre analysis and increasingly disturbing lore of the Super Best Friends (the story of Woolie Madden could be its own JJ Abrams sci-fi series), these guys provide a reason to watch outside of the games themselves. They put effort and their own talents into these videos, and they never pretend they made these games, or offer anything less than absolutely respectful credit to Nintendo for creating the games and shaping the industry itself. TotalBiscuit, Yahtzee, Markiplier, none of these people are selling rebranded Nintendo games as their own. They’re offering their own analysis, commentary, and humor (and their skill or lack thereof in playing these games) to make the games a much richer experience.

Nintendo doesn’t understand this, because it continues to not understand that it’s a video game company. This is a corporate culture thing, and it’s not some East-versus-West, oh-they’re-just-very-Japanese issue. This is because Nintendo still thinks it’s a toy company, and nothing more. That stubborn nothing-moreness is going to erode the massive, industry-defining goodwill and adoration it earned over the last 30 years. In 2015, Nintendo still thinks it’s a toy company that doesn’t need to react or respond to the rest of the gaming world. For at least a few decades, it has defined the culture so much that it has had at least some reason to think that. That’s not the case anymore, and the gaming community is quickly becoming sick of the company’s stubbornness.

Nintendo didn’t even look at Xbox Live, PSN, or Steam before putting together its online features. So, instead of a functional, comprehensive online service, it’s a poorly conceived mishmash that tries to reinvent the wheel as an icosagon. Nintendo didn’t bother looking at its now-adult, enterprising, and creative fan base before putting together its legal strategy. So, instead of offering recording and streaming tools like Sony and Microsoft have, Nintendo took the stance that its fans can’t make content based on its games.

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It’s comparatively minor, but even Nintendo’s attitude with Amiibos has shown how out-of-touch it is with the entire gaming world. We’re four waves into the figures, and Nintendo still refuses to recognize that some might be very, very popular and more should be made available. Certain Amiibos are so rare that they’re impossible to find, and absolutely no effort has been made to respond to this demand with re-print Amiibos. Good luck finding Marth, Ike, Lucas, Shulk, Gold Mario, Lucario, Villager, Lucina, Ness, or Robin in any store, ever, for less than $50 to $280. Four of those Amiibos are the only ways to unlock the use of Fire Emblem characters in Code Name: S.T.E.A.M. An entire feature was built into the game that Nintendo has locked out for the vast majority of gamers because it didn’t even try to keep up with demand for its figures. Nintendo has literally botched the release of a bonus feature on a new game because it didn’t understand that people might want to actually buy its products. They’re just toys no one could possibly be enthusiastic about, so why bother trying to make enough of the characters people want, or consider re-issuing figures? Or even communicating clearly with retailers and consumers?

Then there’s the hilarious nightmare of the Wii U GameCube adapters for Super Smash Bros. Nearly everyone reading this who has visited a GameStop in the last six months can recall seeing stacks of Super Smash Bros.-branded GameCube controllers, but no first-party way to use them on the Wii U because the stores got so few adapters. It made an effort based on what it thought we wanted, but without any attempt to follow-through on it. Uncle Ninty didn’t think it through.

Adapters, Amiibos, online services, YouTube; Uncle Ninty needs to get his head out of his ass or we’re going to stop visiting him to see the latest fun and wacky invention he made in his garage. His creations can be charming and fun, but if he keeps making it a pain in the ass to come by, then the visit eventually won’t be worth it.