The world can always count on the folks over at Blizzard to get in on the April Fools Spirit. Not content to punk the world with their constant updates and giving Hunters some stupidly overpowered stats, they have to go and punk with some patently ridiculous – but at times, plausible – “jokes”
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Three of the company’s major games – World of Warcraft, Starcraft II and the still-in-beta Heroes of the Storm – have gotten some lovely little celebratory “updates”. Some, like Warcraft’s, is actually kind of a fun little idea; others, like Starcraft’s is just wildly impractical.
But you have to love them.
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Coming soon to a World of Warcraft Garrison near you is the T.I.N.D.R. companion app, because you shouldn’t be the only one having fun. Now you can send your garrison troops on little meet quests – “dates” I suppose – and get some little rewards. “Once you have at least one Follower equipped with a T.I.N.D.R. Box, you’ll receive alerts while out adventuring whenever one of your Followers has found a match. Return to your Garrison and speak to Pleasure-Bot 8000 to begin their date. Be sure to act quickly-dropping out of a Mythic Raid mid-encounter, if necessary-before either prospective match gets distracted and moves on.”
I mean, it’s not a terrible idea. And lord knows, playing World of Warcraft isn’t conducive to a social life, so at least someone is finding happiness in the arms of another.
Heroes of the Storm will soon introduce new ‘Big Head‘ mode, which will “chibify” the many epic heroes found within the Nexus. Personal combat has never looked so adorable!
And finally, the folks over at Starcraft II are offering up a full-scale replica of the Spear of Adun, the Protoss arkship from Legacy of the Void. “This beautiful ship handles like a sedan but looks like an intergalactic space cruiser. War Council, personal carrier fleet, and heated seats all come standard. Designed to hold an entire civilization, the Spear of Adun offers abundant trunk space for luggage and hockey equipment, as well as plenty of legroom so that even an army of psi-blade wielding zealots can ride in comfort.”
It even comes with cloaking technology. And it only costs about nine million dollars!
Sadly, it will not be completed until 2315.
Oh Blizzard, you crazy kids you.